Online Rounder’s Script Part 2

Online Rounder’s Part 2

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[Micky Narrating]You don't hear much about guys who take their shot and miss, except for Sbrugby, but that was funny. But I'll tell you what happens to 'em.
They end up humping fucking heavy supplements on a Sunday morning,
trying to figure out how they came up short.
See, I had this picture in my head.
Me sitting at a televised High Stakes Table, Dwan to my left,
Robbel to my right.
And I let that vision blind me at the table against KGB77698_Balla.
Now, the closest I get to the big time is $10 free rolls and watching Degenyamine
And I’m delivering this lousy paper round handed down.
To online rounders who forget the cardinal fuckin' rule...
Always Multi account, and collude, and buy accounts and shit like that

[Micky Narrating] The Newsagents game.
I'd heard about it for years on the street, before I was even in secondary school.
A rotating group of ten or so Newsagents, tobacconists and convenience store managers
They all have money, and in my playing days...
it would have been pretty sweet to have any one of them owing me favors.
Only problem is, no one can get in the game anymore.
One online rounder, Crispy Creme, sat under some pretence,
but they found out he was an online-pro, probable because he kept saying LOL and PW’Ned out loud and calling everyone a beyatch with a fat mumma. When they found out they stopped his subscriptions to poker player and WPT magazine, he cried for a week.

Newsagent 1(Abe): Oh, Micky.
- You got some left over supplements for me? –
Micky: Yes, I do.
Newsagent 1(Abe): Put 'em on the counter, it's all right.
Newsagent 2(Gene): Kid, he paying you for this late night shit?
Micky: No….These bastard Sunday papers are so heavy, I actually started delivering them at 6am this morning. Oh, well, knowledge is my reward [holding up a copy of the Sunday sport] and he also lets me have a few back issues of Asian babes now and again sir.
Newsagent 2(Gene): [Chuckles] - Let me tell you, it ain't worth it.
Newsagent 1(Abe): - All right. I call. - Micky is delivering those DFS inserts for you next week... Gene.
Besides, he could use the background if he's gonna...
Deliver for one of you fellas during the summer holidays, right?

[Micky Narrating] The amazing thing is, in this collection of great local convenience shopping minds, there isn't a single real card player.

Newsagent 3: I call.

Newsagent 4: Raise

Micky: Um, where going to raise-it-up
Newsagent 1(Abe): Micky? [Whispers] Michael, I would have just called.
Micky: No, you're good.
Newsagent 5: All right, I call.
[Mike Narrating] I don't know if I'm going to bring my career in media service delivery to a crashing halt...
before it even starts, but I just can't help myself.
Newsagent 3: - Good. - I'm in.
Newsagent 4: - [Clears Throat] - Read 'em and weep. Threes check.
Newsagent 2(Gene): Check to Martin and Lewis over there.
Newsagent 5: - Check to the raiser.
Newsagent 6: Czechoslovakia.
Micky: What's the limit?
Newsagent 1(Abe): Big bet's 10p.
Micky: Okay. Good. There's 10p.
Newsagent 4: You've seen half a hand. How the fuck are you betting into us?
Newsagent 2(Gene): You sure this is wise, Abe? It's your money the kid's bettin' with.
Micky: It's plenty wise. We know what we're holding, and we know what you're holding.

Newsagent 2(Gene): [Chuckles] The fuck you know what we all got.
Micky: Summer job delivering Argos catalogues say’s I know what you're holding.
Newsagent 2(Gene): I don't bet with jobs like that. Let's just say I'll put you at the top of the list if you're right.
Micky: Okay. [Clears Throat] Well, you were looking for that third three,
but you forgot that the owner of News’n’Booze folded it on Fourth Street,
and now you're representing that you have it.
The 7-11 Owner. made his two pair, but he knows they're no good.
The bloke who runs WH Smiths was trying to squeeze out a diamond flush, but he came up short,
and Mr. Patel thinks where playing Razz and hopes his 8 high is going to win.
So, like I said, we bet 10p.
Newsagent 2(Gene): - Well, kiss my ass. - Kiss my ass.
[Group Laughs]
Newsagent 2(Gene): - What'd you have, Abe?
Newsagent 1(Abe): Nothin' but a busted straight.
Newsagent 2(Gene): Oh, come on. - It's good enough to win. Take it down.
All right, kid, your first assignment. Pull up a seat next to me.
Micky: Oh, I'd like to. I can't, I can't. I don't play cards.
Newsagent 2(Gene): Get outta here! - I like the kid, Abe. - Good kid.
Newsagent 1(Abe): Smart kid.

Part three here