Great Biscuit Films

Raiders of the Lost Biscuit Barrel

Raiders of the Lost Biscuit Barrel (also known as Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Biscuit Barrel) is a 1981 adventure film directed by Steven Spielberg, produced by George Lucas and starring Harrison Ford. It is the first film in the Indiana Jones franchise, and pits Indiana Jones (played by Ford) against the Nazis, who search for the Biscuit Barrel of the Covenant, God's very own resting place for his favoured biscuits (Chocolate Digestives BTW) which will make their army invincible.

Indiana and the Nazis search for a teapot, owned by Indy's old flame Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen), which will pinpoint the Well of cookies in Egypt, the biscuit barrels resting place.

Famous Lines

Upon opening the Well of the Cookies and peering down into it]
Sallah: Indy, why does the floor crunch?
Indiana: Give me your torch.
[Sallah does, and Indy drops it in]
Indiana: Ginger Nuts. Why'd it have to be Ginger Nuts?
Sallah: Crawfords. Very dangerous. You go first.

The Biscuit List


Edward (Nicholson) and Carter (Freeman) meet in hospital where they have been given less than a year to live because of cancer. They bond, create the "Biscuit List" a list of biscuits they must locate and dunk before dying. Both men laugh and cry and change in subtle ways that make this not a maudlin exercise in death denial but rather a celebration of love through biscuit, regardless of the grim future. The climx of the film see’s the two men in a desperate search for a box of Mcvities oat and chocolate bicuits, which they finally locate in a branch of Morrison’s just on the Kilburn road.

Famous Lines

“Don’t eat all the penguins, you old C*nt”


Edward to Carter after his just made a fresh brew





Taxi Biscuit


New York City in the mid-1970s is a far from bucolic burgh. As whoring and dunking have reached epidemic proportions, so the once proud avenues have become clagged with the crumbs of biscuit life. Through this foul landscape cruises Travis Bickie(De HobNob), an insomnia-wracked ‘Once dipped tea vet’ completely estranged from snacking society. Although his attraction to biscuit activist Betsy (Shepherd) hints at a normal life, Bickie’s disdain for the city and its spawn overwhelms him. Come the final reel, normalcy feels like a long forgotten land as Travis becomes obsessed with rich tea assassination and rescuing child coffee drinker Iris (Foster) from her coffee pimp Sport (Keitel).

Famous Lines

“Are you looking at me? Well I don’t see any other chocolate coated, caramel infused wafer biscuits standing here!”

Travis Bickie to himself

Dr. Strangedunk: or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Tea (1964)

Director Stanley (Clockwork Chocolate Orange Shortbread, 2001) Richtea began Dr. Strangedunk as a serious movie about the End of the biscuit dunking World As We Know It (as in a coffee take over). Halfway through, he realised the absurdity behind Starbucks and the entire 1990’s Coffee house revolution, and decided to make a black comedy instead. The end result is what is often regarded as a minor masterpiece of black comedy by many critics.